Ugh. I can't stand how people can be so insensitive, and how they keep saying, "We're praying for your family." Grand, but... whats there to pray for? MY family is in shock. My grandmother and my aunt DIED. They BURNED to a FUCKING CRISP. Know what makes it even better? They knew it was coming... they knew they wouldn't be coming out of that house alive. So, no. I don't want any part of your "god", because if there was a god, I would like to think he wouldn't have let them suffer, but they did. They were huddled together at the back of the house. I KNOW my grandmother knew. My aunt... I'm sure she knew... and they were probably crying before the fire hit them. I hope the smoke took them before the flames got them. I really do.

Then, theres the fact that OTHERS in my family are angry with my cousin for NOT going into the house-- nevermind that he couldn't. He tried to reach them.. he did the best he could. they were gone before any of us knew about it. And yet, they want to tell him he should have went in to get them? Then we'd have had THREE bodies to bury.

The fire-scene is being treated like a crime scene. My grandmother and aunt will have to be cremated-- theres not much left of them... at all. But, the services will have to be held on my birthday. Y'know.. one day you're supposed to be spending celebrating... I'll spend mourning the loss of them. And its not that I'm bitching about it.... its just... if there was a god, WHY now? Why like that? They didn't deserve that kind of death.

But... I'm glad they went together... and that my grandmother went out with her boots on... protecting her child as best she could.



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